Wouldn’t it be nice if:
there were no suspicions or clouds around our President and he was seen as a totally honest, humble guy who lived in accommodation that most people found surprisingly modest; South African drivers realised […]
Lighter Wyn
SARS pays back R10bn, but some taxpayers’ refunds are being withheld
Taxpayers should inform SARS if they have been unemployed for a full year or longer, to avoid being flagged as non-compliant.
Read moreAfrikaanse Engels
We received a few responses to our invitation to share typical Afrikaans words that makes it such a unique language. What about “ja-nee”? Afrikaans is the most wonderful descriptive language – we cannot […]
Dronkbestuur
Drie dikgesuipte mans klim in die taxi. Die bestuurder sien hulle is dronk en is nie lus vir moles nie. Hy skakel die taxi aan, en sommer weer af. “Ons is hier,” sê […]
Queen’s message to USA after elections
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA […]
Are ye Irish?
A customer asks… “In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?” The clerk asks…”Are you Irish?” The guy, clearly offended says… “Yes I am, but let me ask you something. “If I […]
Neighbours
There is a huge house in our street. The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of irritable dogs allowed to run without leads. Her car isn’t taxed […]
The Real Laws of Nature
At this time of year, little things can be far more irritating than ten months ago. Do not feel alone. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your […]
Holding her own
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says ‘I’m on this cruise to […]
Father, forgive me…
A Priest in a small town was called away for an emergency on a Sunday afternoon while he was about to hear confessions. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, and having no […]
Clever Business Signs
In a Podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.” On a Plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.” On another Plumber’s truck: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.” On a Church’s […]
Call Centre Clangers
Customer: ‘I’ve been ringing 0800 2100 0800 2100 for two days and can’t get through to enquiries, can you help?’ Operator: ‘Where did you get that number from, sir?’. Customer: ‘It was on […]
Scottish Pragmatism
A priest, a doctor, a rich businessman and a Scotsman were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them. The Doctor shouted to them, “I’ve never seen […]
How Ritchie McCaw let his team down.
Ritchie McCaw goes into the All Black changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit down. “What’s up guys?” he asks. “Well Ritchie, to be honest we’re having all sorts […]
The last wishes of Alexander the Great:
On his death bed, Alexander summoned his generals and told them his three ultimate wishes: 1. The best doctors should carry his coffin; 2. The wealth he has accumulated (money, gold, precious stones…) […]
A living will (best not copied)
Although very applicable, this living will may not conform to the requirements set out above: I, _____, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial […]
