Neighbours

There is a huge house in our street. The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of irritable dogs allowed to run without leads. Her car isn’t taxed […]

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The Real Laws of Nature

At this time of year, little things can be far more irritating than ten months ago. Do not feel alone. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your […]

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Holding her own

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says ‘I’m on this cruise to […]

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Father, forgive me…

A Priest in a small town was called away for an emergency on a Sunday afternoon while he was about to hear confessions. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, and having no […]

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Clever Business Signs

In a Podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.” On a Plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.” On another Plumber’s truck: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.” On a Church’s […]

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Call Centre Clangers

Customer: ‘I’ve been ringing 0800 2100 0800 2100 for two days and can’t get through to enquiries, can you help?’ Operator: ‘Where did you get that number from, sir?’. Customer: ‘It was on […]

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Scottish Pragmatism

A priest, a doctor, a rich businessman and a Scotsman were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them. The Doctor shouted to them, “I’ve never seen […]

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How Ritchie McCaw let his team down.

Ritchie McCaw goes into the All Black changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit down. “What’s up guys?” he asks. “Well Ritchie, to be honest we’re having all sorts […]

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The last wishes of Alexander the Great:

On his death bed, Alexander summoned his generals and told them his three ultimate wishes: 1. The best doctors should carry his coffin; 2. The wealth he has accumulated (money, gold, precious stones…) […]

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A living will (best not copied)

Although very applicable, this living will may not conform to the requirements set out above: I, _____, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial […]

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School quiz

My apologies to those born too recently to get this one. Google SABreweries if you need a clue. In response to a question at the recently held Zimbabwe Inter High Schools Quiz, Goromonzi […]

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How not to come second

How sad is this? The caption that came with this picture reads: He was the only athlete in the 100 metres, but was placed second. A future Protea, by any chance?

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Just another brick in the wall?

Thanks to Roché C. for submitting this. A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem to pray, twice a day, […]

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A star is born

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, “Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem?” The mother says, “It’s my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings. She’s putting on […]

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A brief language lesson.

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED, in a way that’s easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE […]

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Die Boer

Die boer was bekend daarvoor dat hy nooit iets vir die kerk wou gee nie, want volgens hom word alles net verkwansel op sendings in donker Afrika. Een oggend bel hy die predikant. […]

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